1. You and your sibling (or parents) both want to use the computer at the same time.

A I would give up wanting it; no questions asked.

B I would try to force the other party to let me use the computer first.

2. You were upset with a friend for not doing her share of the work for a project. In effect, you did the entire project by yourself.

A I would not tell her how I feel but I would give up on her as a good friend.

B I would listen carefully to my friend’s reasons, and if his reasons were good, I would not let the tutor know that she hasn’t done a thing.

3. You and a classmate both want to use the printer at the same time.

A I would give in to my classmate and write her off as a friend.

B I would ask to solve the problem by suggesting that one person prints the documents for both of us. In the end, both of us wait the same amount of time.

4. You and a classmate both don’t want to be the presenter for the group.

A I would give in to my classmate and write her off as a friend.

B I would compromise by working out an arrangement for alternating the role of presenters for future presentations.

5. You and your friend both are deciding where to go for dinner.

A I would try to force my friend to go where I want to eat even if this will upset her.

B I would listen carefully to my friend and if she is able to convince me, I would let her have her way because a good friend is important.

6. You and your classmate are working on a group project. Both of you want to draw the illustrations, neither wants to write the report.

A I would insist on drawing the illustrations, not caring if she was angry or upset with me.

B I would compromise by agreeing for each of us to draw half the illustrations and write half the report.

7. Your neighbour told you to clean the drain outside your house as the dead leaves can harbour mosquito breeding grounds. You see no reason why you should be the one doing all the hard work when it is a common drain.

A I tell my neighbour to clean the drain himself if the dead leaves are bothering him.

B I would ask for both of us to work on cleaning the drain together since it is a common drain that lies between both your properties.

8. You and your date are going to a movie. You have been dying to watch “Superman” but your date insists on watching “Pirates of the Caribbean”.

A I would choose to watch “Pirates of the Caribbean” because my relationship with my date is important.

B I would suggest that both of watch the animated film “Cars” instead.

9. Your colleague told several other people some unflattering information about you.

A I would listen carefully to why he said those negative things about me, and if his reasons were more valid, I would forgive him.

B I would try to solve the problem by asking my colleague what happened and work out an agreement where you will discuss differences openly.

10. You believed that you did most of the work on a joint project; so did your colleague.

A I would compromise by agreeing that we both did half.

B I would try to solve the problem by reviewing each aspect of the paper and decide who had done how much on that aspect.

SCORING INDEX

Circle the letters below that you circled on each question. Then total the number of letters circled in each column.

Question	Turtle	Shark	Teddy Bear	Fox	Owl
1	A	B
2	A		B
3	A			B
4	A				B
5		A	B
6		A		B
7		A			B
8			A	B
9			A		B
10				A	B
Total
Style

Adapted from Johnson, David. (2003). Reaching Out: Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self-Actualisation (pp. 274 – 276). Boston: A and B.

The results show that i am an OWL.

Collaborating (The Owls)

When your goals and relationships are highly important to you, you want to act like an owl. You will negotiate to seek solutions that satisfy your goals and those of the other person so that a high-quality relationship can be maintained. Owls see conflict as a means of improving relationships by reducing tension between two persons. They are not satisfied until the tensions and negative feelings have been fully resolved.

Kare Anderson’s Model for Conflict Resolution

STEP 1

Identify my main needs

1. Attachment to big 4 accounting firms

2. To ace all the modules and be among the top of 2010 Ngee Ann graduates and proceed to university

The best outcome would be that i did well in all the modules and get attached to one of the big 4 accounting firms. The reason why i want a place in the big 4 during attchment is because if i really do perform well during the period, i might get myself a position. While the least i can expect will be to be attched to a reputable firm where i can further my career in. The very first step to achieve what i want is to do well in all the modules. Since poly is very project-based, group members play a very huge role. It is often so that we share different agendas and future aspects. Thus some may put in little effort in group works because of their own reasons. This might cause a conflict due to different expectations.

This is when we communicate to them. We try to understand the reason why they are not putting in as much effort as the others. They might have a special reason not made known to us. Communicaton reduces conflicts and will make us understand the person more.

STEP 2

Reach out to find the other person’s main needs

We have tried to communicate and one of the reasons we got to know was that her travelling time from school back home takes 1 1/2 hours. So it would be late for when she reach home if we were to stay in school until 9 pm to discuss about the project. When we told her that she could leave early and we'll settle the rest of the work, she was grateful and initiated to help from home. Another reason why she could not commit to the project was because she has not been attending lecture for quite some time and she has absolutely no knowledge on the topics that we're doing so she could not help much. And the reason for not coming to school is because of the travelling time. She is too lazy to take all the trouble to travel.

STEP 3

Listen to the other person.

We tried to talk and persude her to come to lecture more often because its all for her own good. Letting a classmate go onto the road of retaking modules is the last thing we would ever want it to happen. The whole class would help her in her work and try to help her tide through examinations and projects. We also give encouragement to encourage her to come to school more often.

STEP 4

Propose a solution that supports their main needs and yours as well.

In times whereby she don't know the subject, i will lend her my notes and explain the whole chapter. I will have to sacrifice my studying time to explain and guide her through. Although it is sometimes time consuming, helping a friend in need is always worthwhile. By teaching and encouraging her in the process, i can also revise on the subjects and help her improve

In conclusion, i think that to achieve my goals is important, but the friendship attained in the process is more meaningful.